This zine uses writings, magazine collage, and occasional drawings to make fun of fashion magazines and embrace a broader definition of beauty.
If you would like a physical copy, you are welcome to print it. Download the full size, paginated pdf here: KNONK: Buy me a Coffee. There's an opportunity to tip but you really don't have to.
Don't struggle to read the fine print, there's a transcript below.
Back to front page.
The cover features a composite face with pale eyes, a mustache, long hair and lipstick as the main feature. the magazine is called #Beauty: beyond the binary". The articles listed are:
Street report: What IS beauty?
Beauty products for the Soul
Help! I'm literally a cave troll!
Toxic Masculinity
The style and fashion magazine for non-human beings.
This page features a collage in brown and pinks, featuring ice cream, giant lipsticked lips and a pink shoe.
A white dog on a white sofa declares: "Simplicity is my guiding light."
A seal says: "I hate it when people talk about 'getting into shape'. I have a shape! It's a round shape. Round is a shape."
A bumblebee muses: "Beauty is a point of view. I see different colours, different kinds of beauty. And I'm sure you see things I don't, too. The best thing we can all do is to open up to all kinds of beauty, and we wil start seeing it more and more."
Images on this page also include a games controller, a freestanding, teal bath and a rusting old tank in a field.
A pink cultivated poppy says: "People tell me I'm beautiful all the time. It's a bit odd to me. I'm actually really self-conscious about how tall I am."
The background shows a woman in the window of a burning building. A fire person climbs a ladder towards her.
A potato speaks out: "It's not always easy to have the best complexion or the best skin. But I have my own stuff going on. I have good texture. Besides, who has time for a facial every day?"
An old delapidated building adds: "Beauty becomes a more delicate, balanced thing as you age. Less effortless. Although, of course, it was never effortless. That was just another illusion."
A dog with a shiny coat looks at the viewer: "Of course I care, everybody cares. Sure, I don't wear make up, and my clothes are pretty everyday, but I still have an opinion on what looks good. I know what I look like. It's on purpose."
An ostrich chick in a field says: "I feel like it's fashionable, almost, to be insecure. I'm like, fuck that. I have nice legs. Yeah, I said it."
A pig, covered in mud: "Who are you to say who's ugly? Don't you know that the judgement you heap on others is the same judgement waiting for you when you look in the mirror?"
This page and the next feature a collage rainbow of food with fancy cocktails in the foreground.
Who are you...
being beautiful to?
Ransom note poetry reading:
To find myself (...to seek)
between "I'm a girl warrior" and "feminine King"
This unpredictable/different/horrifying beauty
Is reflected by my best/own face.
Collage with an owl, a chap in a three-piece, a grinning man in a huge wig, shoes, a perfume bottle, men wearing hats.
My style is intuitive: plenty of teabags.
"I'm quietly confident and want to be taken seriously"
If someone has a knife, ditch the apologies.
Our look of the month is an instant classic. These Oyster Mushrooms combine pleasing, predictable texture with sweeping drama and chiaroscuro. Neither animal nor plant, they follow their own rules. A great look for night time gatherings and grand entrances.
Dear #Beauty,
So I'm, like, literally a cave troll. Normal make up tips just make me look like a cave troll in lipstick — ridiculous.
I want to be pretty so bad! Is there anything I can do?
xo—Grendel the Swamp Thing
Dear Grendel,
If "pretty" to you is a picture, is a specific way to look, you are all out of luck.
Your face will never look like the digital paintings on the cover of Vogue.
But this perception of "pretty" is incorrect. Pretty is not a picture, pretty is an expression.
Fashion is a language you can use to say how you feel, who you are, how you see yourself, how you hope to be treated, the things you dream of and how you like your coffee — or your lovers.
Whatever the shape of your canvas, when you paint with the colours of prettiness, your intention will shine through.
And the right people will have the eyes to see it. Don't be afraid. Claim the prettiness that is your birthright.
x — Beauty
Get the look!
Toxic masculinity is the talk of the town, but there's a lot of misunderstanding around the term. Let our experts set you straight on how to wear it the right way.
"The traits traditionally associated with masculinity are often perfectly good traits for any human to have. Self-sufficiency, emotional mastery, strength, stoic endurance, ambition, courage... None of these traits are toxic in and of themselves, so you'll have to push it to get the desired effect."
Images on this collaged page include a sleazy Aardman character with roses, a chicken the size of a building and a viking hefting an axe.
"Toxicity is all about being anti-social. Go overboard. Take charge when no one needs you to. Display your masculine strength in delicate social situations. Combine your competitive nature with needless aggression to get one up on everyone around you. Go big or go home."
"If we're talking about toxic masculinity, we're talking about violence. Being violent in word and deed is exciting, and you can get away with a lot if you pick your targets appropriately. Read the room. What are the targets of hate for this particular crowd?"
Images on this page include a rhinoceros with huge horns, a pirate under a palm tree, a teletubby, a videogame power bar and the muzzle of a machine gun.
"Egalitarians don't like to admit this, but any group of humans has a hierarchy. Every social situation can be a dick-measuring contest if you make it so. You can compete on anything — knowledge about obscure subjects, number of countries you've travelled to, pints you can drink, creative insults... even your woke-ness and political correctness can be point scoring cards in the universal game of besting everyone."
Images on this page include a male scientist looking at chemistry equipment, a circuit board schematic and riot police.
Images include: a man looking serious, a lizard, a stag, a rusted tank pointing at nothing.
"Paranoia is the key to that toxic look. Are you on top? Is anyone disrespecting you, or something you care about? Are you the centre of attention? Can the see you sweat? Attack, attack, attack."
A collage page featuring stacked soap, a burger, the king from a chess game, a man's arm, a woman's legs and lips, a black tulip.
On this page we have an eye, more disembodied lips, a woman balancing on a champagne bottle and a huge cut gem. Cut out letters spell:
Fashion is a language. You are entitled to the entire vocabulary.
continued...
This page features a fish wearing a green hat, a make up palette and Helen Mirren looking grey and glorious while a garing eye looks at the camera.
"I often think of that evening as the first time I hated myself"
This page features models wearing clothes and walking runways juxtaposed with kitchen products. Snippets of fashion commentary don't quite add up to meaning.
fashion... first class... designers... tailoring and the most... only fascinate her but... native hand craft... playful collection. New, innovative, futuristing materials mixing them into nearly science fiction outfits... Their agenda contans a section for women's... international style... self-confident... outfits from business into...
A composite figure with a dog's head against a blue, IT-themed background waves at us. A mouth smiles.
Printed in Bristol October 2018
now hosted on KNONK.UK
Also available: I kissed a Girl and I liked it: Thoughts from a Bad Bisexual
Defiant for Life: Recovering from Sexual Violence